Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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