im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
