GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
