a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
