I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
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