Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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