He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
