i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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