I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
