I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
