i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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