Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
