Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
