stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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