is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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