are you still at the devil's house?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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