why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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