i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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