was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Be still, my beating vagina.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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