That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
