if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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