Screwed.edu
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
