Pants 0. Shit 1.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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