everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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