Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
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Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
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Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Randomize