Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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