You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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