I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
