Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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