I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
