Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She even gives head with a lisp.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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