can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm like, not good at living.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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