yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
