You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
