thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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