can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
