Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
