We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
