my phone needs a breathalizer
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
