i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
