I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
