he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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