yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
