I wanna passion pit in your ass
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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