and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
