when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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