She is in my trunk
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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