is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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