so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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