Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
