You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
