I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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