Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
