I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
