You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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