this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
sex in a hospital.. check
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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