: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
