I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
