I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
