i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
