Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
