You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
