he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
