I want to make a zoo with you.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
