You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
