Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
