you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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