Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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