I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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